did you get engaged???
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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