oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dick very happy bro
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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