I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
