Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
