Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
50% drunk capacity currently
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had to cum in my sink.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize