I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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