They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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