Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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