accomplished twins. life is a go
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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