it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
why is half of my head shaved?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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