tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
