Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I didn't notice because vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize