worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
