she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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