fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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