I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
