marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
