that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize