Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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