My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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