isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
