He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
