Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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