I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My vagina is officially offended.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
