The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize