I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She bit a glass in half.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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