mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize