Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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