My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
