Can i not drive my cunt home
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize