At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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