What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
