i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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