no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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