i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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