is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
