her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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