mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
please come you make the beer taste better
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
