I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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