wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
