sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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