So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
