Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
