An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
