walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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