I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
