She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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