wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
