cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
