How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
