I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
love makes seman taste better
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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