I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
