My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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