i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think your dad took our porno
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
