chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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