I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
