things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
