Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
