I'm lost and stupid without you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's shark week go big or go home
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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