3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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