well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
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This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
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My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He did a backflip because drugs
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